YOLO - SLR

   
You Only Live Once.

      "Kayla..." I whispered into the darkness, hoping she was still awake and would listen to the amazing thing I had to share. "Psst...Kayla!"

     "What?"
    "Oh good, you're still awake." I was fairly bursting with excitement. 11:00pm or not, I had to get this out or I would surely explode! "Can I tell you something?"

    "Yeah, sure. What is it?"

    "I am, right now, this very second - I'm fulfilling a lifetime dream!" Now, I'm possitive that my excitement was conveyed in my voice...but Kayla must have been half asleep and missed it. Her whisper was laced with astonished confusion.
    "Sleeping in a hut in the middle of the jungle?"

     "Yep!"
     "How old were you when you knew you wanted to do that specific thing?"

     "Six!"

    Not many people my age can say that they have traveled out of the country. Even fewer can say that they've traveled out of the country five times. And still fewer can say that they've been to the jungle, lived in a hut, and swam in a Panamanian waterfall.

    But that night in San Antonio Gamboa, Panama a ten year dream came true for me. I was curled up in a pink mosquito net with five other girls, sleeping on a slatted hodge-podge of branches that served as the floor to a hut. Not just anyone's hut either! We were staying in the hut where the leader of this village lived; the leader and pastor!

    I am an adventure addict. You can imagine what all this did for my brain!

    Earlier that night we had come to the Wounaan (wo-NAHN) village in time for church. A mixed group of students from the United States and Wounaan Indians came together at dusk to worship the One True God together. We spoke different languages, we came from different places, we had different skin tones, different backgrounds...but we all knew what was important in life. We knew that we only lived once, and that we needed to live right.

    Voices raised in joyous praise, people (myself included!) danced because of their happiness, hearts were full, smiles were broad. I cannot even express how the Spirit settled in that place, but it was in that place that I saw Christ's sacrifice come to life. These people lived an hour and a half outside of the nearest city, they didn't have a doctor near enough to get a hold of in an emergency, their homes were lifted above the ground five feet because of the rain, and they had one bathroom situated at the top of a hill for the entire village - yet they were more openly infatuated with their Lover than any Believers I have ever met. In their intoxicating company it was only natural to forget my "southern baptist" ways and dance for God. And I believe it was the best worship "experience" my heart has ever had: to forget boundaries and rules and simply love my Jesus.

    These people not only worship like it is their last time, they witness like it is their last breath. They have found a need, a desire, in their hearts to share their Lover with those in the surrounding villages. In spite of what it might cost them, laughing in the face of danger, the people of Panama long to spread the name of Christ to everyone around them. Even the smallest among them.

    Pastor Lucciano stands no taller than my eye. I am short, he is certainly small. Yet his small form was often seen some yards in front of my team, walking with the urgency of two Apostle Pauls stuffed into one body. His passion for Christ, and for seeing the people of his country come to the Cross is beyond me! His selflessness is something that has been gifted him from God, it certainly is not of this world.

     Several weeks ago, Pastor was in the hills of Panama when he noticed a ruckus. A group of men were kidnapping a young girl, God knows what their intentions were. Running to her side, Pastor looked into the eyes of the hulking man and said "You can take her, but you have to get through me to do it." That was all it took, the distraction worked and the girl ran to safety, but Pastor did not come out unscathed. He was stabbed seven times over his body during his Spirit led rescue mission. he wounds haven't healed correctly, and a few weeks ago flies got in them. They laid eggs. Pastor Lucciano is a very sick man, infact, he may be battling cancer.

    His body may be wasting away, but never have I seen a man with so many odds against him fight so passionately for the souls of his countrymen. On days that my team and I wanted nothing more than to simply climb back in bed, sit on a rock, fall on the ground and just lay there for Pete's sake - he walked on, making sure we wasted no time in getting to the next ministry. If it were climbing a mountain, or praying for a sick friend, he rose to the task and gave glory to God.


    Pastor Lucciano knows that we only live once, that we need to live right. He is choosing every day to live selflessly and follow the call. He picks up his cross daily, his cross is much bigger than mine.

    The Wounaan tribe knows that we only live once, that we need to live right. They live in light of the joy of Christ. They live in constant praise, infatuation, and awe of their Lover.

    I know that I will only live once, that I need to live right. I have not allowed the fear of what could happen, the uncertainty of the future, or the pain of the past keep me from following God into new places (mentally, and physically).

     You Only Live Once - So Live Right.

                   John 9:4 "...we must work, for the night is coming when no man shall..."

To See The Rough Man Cry

     While walking down the street, you see seven men. They aren't businessmen, they aren't students. Quite frankly, they are thugs. Under Armor, Du-rags, tattoos, piercings, ripped, and posed like statues as if to say "This is my street, keep walking."
 
     Your first thought? "Oh! I want to tell them about Jesus!"

      NO. Your first thought is, "Don't make eye contact, keep walking." However, when I saw those men - seated together in an open lobby trying to stay in a dry place before the Panamanian downpour hit- I wanted nothing more than to ask them to follow us and come see the drama that would change their lives. But our line was moving fast, and before I could blink, we were at the end of the street and the men were behind me.

     "What's the point, God, of doing the drama, if we don't invite EVERYONE that we pass to come see it? How can we call ourselves missionaries if we don't take the time to catch every one? God, please send someone to those men...they need you as much as anyone else." I tried to take my mind off of it after praying, and decided to leave it all in his hands.

     The end of the street came, and so did that down poor I mentioned. Two seconds and we went from a drizzle to a flash flood! Three seconds and we went from a nice walk down the street to a mad scramble for shelter - half our team back tracked, half ran into the church across the street. I was part of the group that back tracked, my breath caught as I saw where we were running to: the very lobby that I had seen those thugs in! I looked over at Kayla, and she looked at me. We both smiled as we thought the same thing:

     This place is just the right size for a drama!

     Everyone else must have felt the same thing; as we entered in Sterling began to share his testimony with the men with David as translator, Marc and Ray ran back up the street and into the church to grab the rest of the team, and the rest of us began praying as we watched God's glory unfold in the eyes of seven rough men. Just in time, the rest of the team showed up, and in the seconds to follow we set the stage the fastest of any team I had ever been on.

     We had only one concern. If the rain let up, we knew the men would be gone. Sterling acted on this, and passed out tracks to each of them just before we began, and as he was off stage he began praying, "God, make it rain harder so they can't leave. Make their hearts long to stay. Don't let them leave. Show yourself to them, God!"

     The Gentle Ruler blew life into the People of the Land, and accross the sky of Panama there was a flash of lightning and a bone rattling crack of thunder...we thought it had been pouring before? Well, it was dumping now. Those men were stuck here whether they wanted to be or not.
 
     I had a thought of seeing each of them, in all their built toughness,  jumping in quick fright as the dragon came out. I was determined to see that thought come true, and as my group slowly slinked out I positioned my self in a place that I would be sure to end up in the face of the big black man in front. One...Two...Three...AAAHH! I had never seen a man this rough looking, jump in shock...but now I have. And I would see something even more amazing in the minutes to come.

    The drama ended and our men walked the two foot distance to speak with the crowd. I stayed back and watched...what I saw will always be with me. Tears spilled from the eyes of the man I had scared. He found it! He sees now! He KNOWS! Even then, his friend tried to get him to leave (the rain had let up after the drama and people were walking around again) but he looked at him and said "No, this guy is making a lot of sense, I need to hear it." The friend walked away in a huff, and our soft-turned-thug came in closer to pray for God's forgiveness and salvation.

     Our willingness to be HIS witness, their souls that were unconsciously seeking for HIS love, became HIS divine encounter. It is the same everywhere...when we are willing under any circumstance, to speak to a seeking soul, God will bring about a divine encounter. Obedience is the first step to any salvation. It was our obedience to his calling that gave us the opportunity to see the rough man cry, the blessing to call six of those seven men our brothers in Christ!

It Was In My Weakness.

     I've cried in my lifetime. More than most. But I had never cried like this - this was a heartache I had never experienced before. The feeling that I was failing, the pain of not being able to serve God to the fullness I wanted to. My dorm room at training served as an alter for all my hatred and bitterness of being an active student with  heart condition. Tears and sobs hit the floor, the wall, the bed, and always landed in the hand of God.
      In January I became very sick, and by March I was given a diagnosis of "Nuerocardiogenic Presyncope". It is a common condition in athletic youths, but everyone grows out of it...I was told however, that it has proved to be hereditary in my family and I'll have it for life. It keeps me from doing anything that could make my blood pressure drop...a lot of things make your blood pressure drop. Training made my blood pressure drop.
     Only day one and all ready I had blacked out three times and spent the majority of the day dizzy headed. And as I lay curled in a ball on my floor, I cried out to God to take it away. I wanted to do this. I wanted to serve him. I knew he could heal me. I knew it. Why wouldn't he take it away? Reaching onto the shelf, my hand grabbed the small leather book that has traveled everywhere with me for the last four years. Its worn binding, water stained pages, side notes, and underlined-highlighted-blocked-bracketed words showed its wear and tear...and my love for it. I knew that its words would hold the answer.
     Five minutes went by. My tears continued. Ten minutes went by. My heart still pounded in my ears. Fifteen minutes went by - all hell broke loose in that tiny, two-bed room. God had answered me loud and clear, and wrapped me in the biggest hug I've ever received.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

     God promised that his power would be made perfect in my weakness. Promised. Well, I was certainly weak...Time for some power right? But in my heart I had no idea what on earth he could possibly do through a girl who couldn't remain conscious long enough to finish an eighteen minute drama. Little did I know that I would only have to wait one day to be shown!

      Day one of  ministry. We had arrived in Panama the night before, and immediately knocked out. When morning came we were greeted with the sounds of construction, and the wonderful smells of Tia (aunt) Mirna cooking downstairs. Even so, waking up was hard for me. My soul was ready and running for ministry, my body was screaming to stay under the covers. But the longing of my soul won over as God reminded me that He would use this weakness for His glory.
      Later in the morning we walked into our first ministry site. A school in the area had opened its doors to our team, and to the Gospel. I was thrilled! We would be performing for an elementary group of maybe 100 kids, all chomping at the bit to see what we had come to bring them. The whole team was electric with the desire to serve here - and then we saw the stage. Oy! It would be a difficult performance, of that we were sure! two feet off the ground, on a five by seven foot stage...teeny.
      But we knew that God is above any condition. The drama would go on! And not just once. Just as we finished ministering to these children we were asked to show it again for the high school, and in our group we have a heartbeat of obedience. Quickly we unloaded everything and set it all back up again. That heartbeat of obedience was a little different for me, however. It was obedient, but it was also fifty times harder than it should have been, and it was five times slower.

   "Kayla," I walked over to a team mate. "Can you take testimony, I don't think I should do it yet." She agreed and made sure I was going to be okay, I told her if I had a break I'd be good to go for the drama. God was at work even in this, as you'll see in a moment. Soon the room was full the bursting with almost 70 students, all of them in high school, and most of them wanting to be anywhere but there from the looks of it.
       The drama went through, my heart continued pounding. All through I was praying that God would keep me on my feet. He did, and I couldn't have been happier about it...I thought. After the drama, we went to the front of the students and said that if anyone had any questions about this Jesus, they could come ask one of us.
      Three minutes went by and no one had moved. Whitney Maie and I began praying that God would move his Spirit in even one to step forward for him. No sooner had we said amen than a girl stood. She looked my way and immediately I knew she was going to see the Father that day. Reaching out my hand I introduced myself, and she smiled as she took it. I noticed a pain in her eyes, one that I recognized. Quietly she asked, "I want to know...I would like to know...How, how did God change your life?"

      I began to share my story, with Whitney Maie at my side and our wonderful translator speaking my words. But God wasn't done there...5 of her friends, and one of their boyfriends came up in just a few seconds and began to listen to what God was saying through me.
      "But," said the girl that had come up first. " you live in the US. Everything is easy for you there. Of course you can follow God." This shocked me! She really that? That life was perfect for us? If only she knew!
     "Honey," the Holy Spirit kicked in and took over. "It isn't a fairy land. Life isn't perfect or easy for me. I don't know what you are going through, but I am going through troubles too. I have a heart condition that makes doing this drama nearly impossible. Three days ago I was laying on a floor crying because I couldn't stay on my feet long enough to be the dragon. But I have a joy in knowing that God will use my weaknesses to show His glory. I love God because he loves me, not because he gives me things. He blesses me with life, and promises never to leave me. It can be the same for you all!"
      Tears were streaming down all seven faces...eyes were welled up, and the realization that God is good even when we are not registered in each of their hearts. I was blessed with hugs and kisses and "Mi Hermana en Jesus Cristo"s. 7 new siblings in Christ!

     God used my weakness to show his perfect strength. And as the trip continued it became easier and easier for my body to take the weight of the drama. By the time we performed our last, the only thing I suffered was the same heavy breathing and sweatiness as everyone else on my team.  
     It was when I was weak, that I was strong.

    Because Kayla shared her testimony, a girl came specifically to her and asked to hear more. Because she shared more, that girl accepted Christ. Marc spoke with a Buddhist boy who left with a spirit of longing, saying he needed to study more but that he had been "given very good things to think about". Whitney Maie prayed for the group the whole time and was moved to awe as she say for the first time people breaking down in tears at the sound of the Gospel. God moved in my team. God moved in Panama.

Have I told you of the great things God has done?