A dear teacher of mine delivered her second child, a boy, in December. I have had the joy of babysitting her three year old little girl, and was thrilled to have a second sweet child to watch over! I simply didn't know I would get to so soon after the little one's birth. As both she and her husband have day jobs, little Josiah comes to school with my teacher. Yes, he comes with her, but from the moment he wakes up to the moment he leaves he is in our arms. I have been able to hold him, feed him, keep him close every morning for two weeks and it will keep going!
I had only one qualm. I do not smell like his mama. When Josiah gets sleepy, he wants something familiar...his mama. He has never felt comfortable enough to sleep on me in the last two weeks. Until just a few days ago.
The high school and middle school were all going to watch "The Passion of the Christ", and my teacher was giving a bit of background before it began. She walked with me to the gym, and passed Josiah to my eager arms. I held his bottle up and the little guy got simply thrilled: FOOD! All through the presentation I fed him, when he finished I rocked him.
For one moment I looked up, and that was all it took...he was out like a light.
We moved ourselves back upstairs to the now empty classroom, and turned on some quiet worship music and sat down in the big comfy desk chair. He barely stirred.
For three hours we stayed that way: a sleeping bundle of peace curled up to my neck, breathing steadily as I held him close. (Seriously, they should bottle that new baby smell...amazing!) As I looked out the window and rubbed Josiah's little back, I had a thought:
This is how God wants to hold me.
I was hit. I couldn't move. I knew the joy I felt in my own heart, holding a baby that wasn't even mine. Knowing that he was comfortable enough, trusting enough, to sleep on me...to let all of his defenses down and let me watch over him. I was amazed.
God wants me to be at ease with him. To not worry about what is going on around me, but to simply curl up on his chest and fall asleep to His own steady breathing. He will rock me, and watch out for anything that might hurt me, or wake me up.
And he will feel joy...JOY...in doing so. He will be ecstatic when I finally decide that I trust Him that much! God will get the giggles when I snuggle up to his neck and let go of my pretenses.
How he loves us. Not how much, but how.
God wants to hold you while you sleep. Let go of your worries, and let him!
