I Am So Eager...Right?

     We moved. From Tulsa, Oklahoma -my home of ten years- to Overland Park, Kansas. 243miles away from everything I knew as a child, 4 and 1/2 hours apart from every familiar face. Every stage of shock you can imagine, I have gone through. The most detrimental however, was the stage where I pulled into myself. I stopped reaching out. I no longer cared. (May the Reader be advised that this is a terrible mistake, and though it is very appealing, making a bubble-space has a high price as you will see in the following text.)
     My key problem? At first I thought it to be culture shock. Coming from the Bible Belt of the universe, a church on every corner, and a tent revival every Saturday, to a crumbling school in the middle of Shack Town. Whereas I had only heard a handful of cuss words growing up, foul language is the norm here. Teen parenthood? Yeah, the guy sitting a few seats away is the father of two kids- he is seventeen. So maybe culture shock has a little bit to do with it. But I know the real reason I stopped reaching out.
     Selfishness.
     Straight-up, it is the biggest struggle I have. And while it was easy to suppress when surrounded by mostly good things, the phrase "the darkness around draws out the darkness within" comes to mind. And I had given up the fight, lost the motivation to stop it. I could no longer see that any one here really needed my Savior, it wasn't like they wanted him anyway. So I simply stopped...no longer concerned myself with the preaching of the Gospel. And the worst part is this: I was in full knowledge of what I was doing the whole time.
     So when I was hit on the head with a spiritual 2x4 this morning, I wasn't at all surprised.
     Pastor Joe had us all open our Bibles to Romans 1, and together we read verses 14-17.

"I am obligated both to the Greeks and non-Greeks, both to the wise and the foolish. That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel also to you who are at Rome. I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from the first to the last, just as it is written: "The righteous shall live by faith." "

     Paul was obligated, to anyone and everyone. Paul was eager, to share the gospel with all categories. Not only was Paul this way, but so was Christ...and isn't it Christ that I claim to imitate? It is. And the first step is overcoming that selfishness, and that arrogance.
     It does not matter what a person's culture is, it does not matter how lonely I feel, it does not matter the obstacles I placed in between me and the people I spend each day with...what matters is that I give it to GOD, start over, and preach His Word.
     Monday, that is tomorrow. It will be a new week, fresh start. My obligations are not to this world, my hope is in higher places...my heart is in His will, so it is time I let go of my own. I encourage who ever might be reading this to do the same thing, take the Romans challenge. Be eager.
     Sharing the gospel is one thing, and it will bless many people. But it is when we find an eagerness to share the gospel that we are blessed in return.